Monday, May 11, 2015

Measuring Success with my Art

I had a very successful show at Roxy Coffee in Acton and I am very grateful to all who came.

My first show in 2013 at the Roxy was packed. I wanted this show to be even bigger and better. To insure that, I made professional posters and had then put around town. I advertised for months in advance and kept advertising until the last moment. I drove 6 hours full of hope and anticipation.The show began at 3pm and by 3:15 is was still sitting there alone. 15 minutes is a lot of time to pow wow with self. Its a humbling experience to see one's expectations dashed. I soul searched and refused to allow myself to carry disappointment and to remember those words...good things come in small packages. I had 10 guests arrive and we had an intimate time together. I feel so blessed and happy and I consider this show to be a resounding success.

I was taught that there is a special home for each and every creation, most especially when created in love. I know in my heart that its only a matter of time before my art reaches its rightful owner. There is such magic when this happens.

About a year ago, I was reunited with a friend who took an interest in my art. There was a particular piece of art that spoke to her and she knew it. She was so sure, she offered generously and I accepted. The problem was that I was on the tail end of a creativity cycle The image was not acceptable in quality and meant a redo. That beautiful and generous offer became a burden to me. It wasn't her fault. I wanted to provide but my inner self just wasn't right....so I wandered. I stopped doodling. I put down my creativity and I wandered in the forest for a year.

She isn't the only one I left hanging. Another friend had asked for a piece of my art. This art was already created and absolutely ready to give. I couldn't even muster up enough gumption to deliver that art. This added to my "depression". When I sat down to consider how many people I left hanging I felt shame and yet I felt right. I have come to accept that my creativity also has costs and burdons and I have chosen to only engage when the time is right. I dont feel like I am in charge of timing, I only respond to it.

In many ways, my show was a coming out party and a celebration. In particular, the show at Roxy was a success because I was finally able to fulfill my end of the bargain. It was so great to share in a smaller more intimate way.  

Another highlight for me was there was an "unknown" lady who came to my show. She was taken by my art and the "influences" painting. It had very special meaning to her and we discussed that. I knew in my heart that this painting was for her. I also knew that she was not a wealthy or extravagant person. Finally she got the courage to say..I really love this painting but I cant afford it. I told her she would be welcome to take the painting and to pay me what and when she felt comfortable. Later that day she saw me on the street and offered me more than my conscience would allow. Bless her heart. She told me she thought hard about it and realized the value and came to the table with gratitude and generosity. She made my day. I took half of what she offered because I know she was giving with all her heart. It brought tears to my eyes.

I was once told that the definition of a "deal" is when both buyer and seller are happy.

So here it is.... I praise God and walk in Spirit and I leave all my burdens of expectation and personal gain in the hands of the One I trust. I have found that by letting go of self and embracing Spirit that I can live a very happy and rewarding life. Christos is a constant companion and that relationship is more precious than any gold. A path has been laid out for me and I simply walk that path knowing that I am the apple of the creators eye, that I am loved beyond measure and perfect in my imperfections. 

I am so grateful for another successful show. Next stop Twiggs at Sturgeon Falls.