Lord please grant me patience....NOW!

OK, so I was thinking about the fruits of the spirit. I was recounting the fact that God has blessed me with His Holy Spirit. I was recounting the fruits of the spirit and how that has really blessed me. Love, Joy, Peace, Kindness, Goodness, Self Control, Faithfulness, Gentleness.........but wait a minute....where's Patience. I think God forgot to grant me patience.

I now realize that I dont have patience. I wish I did. I try hard to be patient, but I always fail at it. As I reflect on patience, I understand why it is important. I understnd how it will enrich my life. I know I need patience and I need it NOW! And there I go again!

When I think of all the trouble I have got myself into because of my lack of patience, It makes my head spin. I'm thinking maybe my wife was right. I think now on the fighting and altercations and my mean spirit and it all points to one thing. My lack of patience.

OK, so now that this is out in the open, and now that after 44 years on this earth, I have failled miserably in the patience department, its time for a change. I need to be cool as a cucumber. I need to have and show patience to both my freinds and my enemies.

When I think about how much patience God has shown me and the entire human race, it makes my head spin. Time and again we rebelled and time and again God showed patience. I guess when you are an eternal being, patience must be pretty important. If God didnt have patience, he would have formed the world, created Humans and destroyed us, all in one foul swoop.

So anyways I find myself back at His throne of grace, seeking not only forgiveness, but also a do over.

Jesus, I wish I was more like You. I am faced with my own wickedness and it doesnt feel very good. I know You desire better for me. I know that You wait patiently as I dilly dally around the truth. Lord could you replace my impatience with patience. Could You work on me more. My soul is convicted of my shortfall here. I will work on it. But Lord I pray that You would help me here. PLease put a 5 second delay on all my actions so that I can reconsider what I say and what I do. Lord my humanity hurts and I despartely desire Your cleansing. I want to be like You, but there are things holding me back. PLease forgive me and help me. You are the great physician, able to do more than I could ever imagine. Thank you Lord for Your throne of grace and that you will listen to and comfort even a sinner like me.

amen