Rugby vs Lake Superior Provincial Park

I got a call from Dan's brother Tom. Dan is my good friend who just took his own life a couple months ago. His favourite place in the world was Lake Superior Provincial Park. The family decided that they would dump his ashes in OldWomans Bay. They are going to do that on the Long weekend. I have every intention of being there. Its about a 10 hour drive from my place. Long drive, but, you gotta do what you gotta do...Besides, this park and surroundiings are nothing less than spectacular.

I asked my wife to come and she said that she wouldnt leave Dylan alone at home. I reminded her that he was 18 years old. She said..Yes I know, thats why...what were you doing when you were 18? hmmm good thought. So I invited him to come along. He has no interest. I tried the bribe route and I tried the demand route....not much success.

So now the Rugby side... Dylan was very frustrated with his old team Fergus. They had been champs, but new coaching brought a decline in performance. He was continually frustratred with the team that was adrift in the ocean with no direction. I told him to put up or shut up. I told him to either accept the team as it was and join the country club OR quit the team and focus energy elsewhere. That is what he decided to do. He quit Fergus and moved to the North Halton Highlanders. He plays in differant division so now I get to see a bunch of new cities. I watched them play and it was really great..almost graceful. The team is focused on team play and passing. They are a beautiful team to watch. Dylan is very very happy. Last night he was asked to play on the mens team. He was asked to go on tour with them to Lake Placid in New York on the long weekend. He was thrilled and I gave my permission.

SO NOW MY WIFE DOESNT HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR NOT COMING TO LAKE SUPERIOR WITH ME> I am excited. We will rent a cottage or room for a couple of nights. We will go there via my friend Mikes house so she can see what has been taking up so much of my time.

I have every intention to move to Northern Ontario. While my family is OK with my plans, they have yet to show any excitement or take any ownership. Maybe they think I'm just dreaming. I had hoped to show them all the cool places I have been to. I hoped to show them the 3 cities I have shortlisted. I certainly dont want my family to be unhappy...that wouldnt work. But on the same token, I am very tired and fearful of my current job and lifestyle. I yearn for change. I yearn to follow my dream. I am not getting any older and frankly have almost reached my limits for tolerance. I am tired of the Toronto influence. I am tired of fatherhood. Dont get me wrong..I love my kids and I'm in the home stretch now. Despite this I CANT WAIT FOR MY FREEDOM BACK. I cant wait to do things for me, rather than them. Sounds selfish...yes...But I beleive I've earned it.

I know that nothing is forever, BUT, I dont want to look back at something for never! I will pursue my dream full steam ahead like a bull in a china shop, knowing that if my wife cant adjust then I'll have to make a choice. My choice would be to chose my wife over everything. I would sooner die than to fail her. Its the way its always been. I just hope and pray that she gives it a fair try with open mind and an understanding of how much this means to me.

Truly, I look forward to the day when she says to me. WOW. I love it here. Thankyou for being a bull in a china shop!.......and then I woke up....oh and by the way Don, you missed your sales target and now we have to lay someone off.