"Faux Poo"

How Embarrassing!

I’m the kinda guy that likes to use my own toilet. I don’t like using public toilets. I have been known to leave early from a party just so I can sit on my own throne. I have a routine, or should I say, my body has a routine. It’s a schedule that allows me to dump in my own throne.

Last night I was at a seminar and I had to fart in the worst way. Well the room was full of people, so I decided I could wait. When break time came I dashed to the washroom. I sat on the throne and farted for what seemed like an eternity. It was almost supernatural! I have never farted for so long and so loud in my life. I musta sat there for like 5 minutes farting. I was really glad that no-one was there to hear….

Well I opened the stall door and there stood a gentleman with his legs crossed, looking a little frantic. When he looked at me his eyes rolled. I was so embarrassed! Now why should I be embarrassed….its a natural bodily function. Poor guy musta snuck in as I never heard the door open, or maybe I didn’t here the door over the sound of my farts. The other funny thing is that when I went and sat back down in the auditorium……..he was the next guest speaker! I slinked down in my chair.

I don’t know why it embarrasses me so. I look at my brother who can sit on the throne and carry a conversation. Me…I hide in anonymity.

That reminds me of a joke. This lady is sitting on the throne and talking to her friend. She says…I bought a nice dress today. Friend says “really? What coulor is it?” Lady on the throne says BBBLLLUUEEE… This joke is obviously funnier told than read!

So those are my words of wisdom for today.