Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Trying to Decide?? Beer Versus Religion

Some of the Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Religion:

When you have a beer, you don't knock on strangers' doors trying to give it away.
Almost no one has ever been shamed for drinking the wrong brand of beer.
Beer has never caused a major war.
You know exactly what you're getting when you ask for a beer.
A six-pack of religion doesn't quench your thirst.
Beer doesn't tell you how, when, or why to have sex or not to have sex.
Very few people have ever forced beer on anyone.
Nobody's ever been drawn and quartered, hanged, or tortured over beer.
You don't have to wait more than 2,000 years for a second beer.
Once you've paid for your beer, you're not expected to keep making contributions to the brewery.
You can prove that your beer exists.
If you've devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop.
You don't burn the barmaid at the stake if she offers you a different brand of beer.
No one will kill you for not drinking beer.

Some of the Reasons Why Religion Is Better than Beer:

Too much religion does not induce vomiting.
There's no chance of waking up in bed naked with an unattractive stranger after too much religion.
Jesus is free; beer starts at $2.50 a six-pack.
Religion has a lot fewer calories.
Holy water doesn't affect your sense of balance.
How many fistfights do you see in a church?
Religion won't give you a hangover.
Your spouse won't complain that your breath stinks of religion.
You can have as much religion as you like, and still drive home later.
Your religion won't shatter if you drop it on the ground.
You can shake up your religion, and it won't explode.
You don't have to get your stomach pumped for overdosing on religion.
The day after going to church, you can remember everything that happened.
You don't have to worry about getting religion stains on your clothes.
Saying "Oh, God!" is much more fun in church than kneeling over the toilet.
The police won't arrest you for accepting Jesus under age.
It's okay to drive and be open to Jesus.
Jesus was crucified for our sins — beer is just pasteurized.
Jesus comes in a handy one-pack.
Jesus is who you need in emergencies — beer is only useful when you find a burning bush.
Try driving a nail through a can of beer and see what happens.
Beer just doesn't have the same after-sales service that you get from religion.
Too much religion won't kill you. (Perhaps just the opposite!)

Great Advice compliments of........
http://www.extremelysmart.com/humor/beervsrel.php

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