thoughts....

I have been neglecting this blog. Its not that I dont have anything to say, its just that not everything should be shared. I have been experiencing so many personal blessings and I have been sharing this through my art and with people.

I have recently been thinking about "Love thy neighbour as thyself" and "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

I find myself feeling sick inside when I do something to hurt someone else. I find my myself joyous inside when I share someone else's joy. These things just happen and to me, are not measured or done because of some religious law. If I hurt someone I am actually hurting myself. If I mock someone, I am mocking myself. If I feel joy for someone, I feel joy myself. If I give, I receive. This all seams paradoxical to some. Some consider this foolishness. Some do not stop to think about it. For some, the lure of personal gain overcomes their knowledge. This is because we are so intellegent, we can talk ourselves in and out of things. With intelligence comes ego. This ego can talk some incredible talk inside one's head.

When I gave my heart to God, or shall I say, when God was revealled in me, I was able to hand it all over. I try not to think too much. I have a very active mind and its easy to drive myself crazy. Rather, I try to just live organically following my heart and the still small voice in my head. I try to just flow and just be. I just want to be like like Jesus and I have found that if you hand it all over, than you can. I found that once I surrendered, I was granted my freedom. Somehow now as I look back, it doesnt feel like I surrenderred anything, rather it feels like I was given a gift.

I have been witnessing to people and it scares the shit out of me that their next step might be to go to church. I gave a friend a bible and I begged her to please not use this to judge people, rather, use these words to find God, and once found cling to God and God only. I beg people to not become religious rather, fill themselves with the life giving joy of God and then go forth with fruits of the Spirit. Forcing people to eat the fruit is useless....just live the fruit and enjoy the fruit.

Does that sound selfish to just live the fruit and enjoy the fruit? I listened to a talk called "do what you want to do" The premise is that if I did what I wanted....then I would do it well. While I can pick this statement apart, a part of me revels in this. If I am granted the freedom to do what I want to do, then I would love, care, enjoy, share. Because I have given my heart to Jesus, I am inclined to live like Jesus and love like Jesus. I realize that you are thinking "it isnt that easy" and I can dig that, except..it was that easy.

I hope I have provoked you into opinion and you are welcome to share that opinion because I love you and everyone needs to be heard.

peace

Hannah Check Up

Hi Hannah
Sue asked me how you were doing this morning and asked if I had been in touch at all. You have also been on my mind so I am going to use this as my que to reach out and tell you everything is well here and we pray the same for you. I trust and hope that you are doing the things you need to do to find joy, peace and contentment in this life. I have fond memories of our times together and in some ways I miss that. Well life goes on and we change and we strive for perfections that we already have. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and we like you a lot. Kirk Out......

Weekend Adventure

A good family friend passed away and we made the journey to celebrate her life and legacy. She was a wonderful woman of God who lived the gospel. It was a very moving event. She has 20 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren. They live in Quebec in a beautiiful town about an hour from Ottawa.

On our way back, Sue and I rented a room at the downtown Marriott. We had a fun evening. The town was still alive and humming at 2am. I got up early Sunday morning and went for a walk. Ottawa sure is a beautiful city. In fact, of all the cities I have been to, Ottawa still takes the top spot. I took a walk from the market out to this lookout in the park. The views were spectacular despite the overcast and slight rainy day. I noticed a fellow sitting out at the park bench, struck up some conversation and ended up sitting there shooting the breeze for an hour. Despite his clean and cheerful appearance, he was living at the mission. He was homeless. He was excited because today the rink was open to public at discount pricing and he had managed to scrape up about an hour worth of skating time. When we spoke, he did not not speak as a defeated man, yet somehow he seamed resigned to accept and find joy in his horrible situation. I asked him if he would accept some money from me and he was joyous but said only if you can afford it and please dont think that you owe it to me and I am not a pan handler. I asked him to please take it and he accepted it with joy and thanksgiving. We shook hands and I went back to the hotel to gather our belongings.

We went to my friend Jimi's place to visit, talk art and share experiences. Jimi took us to the local art supply store and help me to chose the correct quality items to help me with my painting. He shared with me some tips and pointers and |I am all fired up to return to color painting. I have been doing digital doodles now for about a year and I am enourmously gratified. I beleive that I have a nice foundation of images that I can now explore in color. People have begun to purchase my art and I have a number of shows on right now.

I have been giving and receiving and organically co-creating my future by stepping out in faith with my visions. I tred gracefully and humbly with my God, whom I have the deepest of love for. The Spirit moves me and I respond with full confidence that in so doing God will be glorified in me. My dreams become reality because they are in line with Spirit. My cup overflows. I am being blessed in so many ways and in such high frequency it causes  me ecstatic joy. I found myself dancing with glee and knowledge that my movements were one with all creation and one with the One from whom all life flows. I do not fear death in any way shape or form because I am eternal. I can feel my attachment to the vine and I know, or shall I say, I beleive with all my heart that I am a part of this magnificent eternal force..........and I am grateful for it. 

I watched a young lady scratch and lose on some lotto tickets. Poor girl lost $20.00. I told her that I dont put my faith or even my hopes in "winning" a sum of money. I told her it was of no use to me because I put my full trust in Spirit and all my dreams come true. While she is busy dreaming about all the ways she can spend her winfall, all her dreams are slipping through her hands unfulfilled. I dont dream of riches...I dont dream of a life without struggle and hardship. I dream simple dreams from the heart and my dreams are coming true.