thoughts....

I have been neglecting this blog. Its not that I dont have anything to say, its just that not everything should be shared. I have been experiencing so many personal blessings and I have been sharing this through my art and with people.

I have recently been thinking about "Love thy neighbour as thyself" and "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

I find myself feeling sick inside when I do something to hurt someone else. I find my myself joyous inside when I share someone else's joy. These things just happen and to me, are not measured or done because of some religious law. If I hurt someone I am actually hurting myself. If I mock someone, I am mocking myself. If I feel joy for someone, I feel joy myself. If I give, I receive. This all seams paradoxical to some. Some consider this foolishness. Some do not stop to think about it. For some, the lure of personal gain overcomes their knowledge. This is because we are so intellegent, we can talk ourselves in and out of things. With intelligence comes ego. This ego can talk some incredible talk inside one's head.

When I gave my heart to God, or shall I say, when God was revealled in me, I was able to hand it all over. I try not to think too much. I have a very active mind and its easy to drive myself crazy. Rather, I try to just live organically following my heart and the still small voice in my head. I try to just flow and just be. I just want to be like like Jesus and I have found that if you hand it all over, than you can. I found that once I surrendered, I was granted my freedom. Somehow now as I look back, it doesnt feel like I surrenderred anything, rather it feels like I was given a gift.

I have been witnessing to people and it scares the shit out of me that their next step might be to go to church. I gave a friend a bible and I begged her to please not use this to judge people, rather, use these words to find God, and once found cling to God and God only. I beg people to not become religious rather, fill themselves with the life giving joy of God and then go forth with fruits of the Spirit. Forcing people to eat the fruit is useless....just live the fruit and enjoy the fruit.

Does that sound selfish to just live the fruit and enjoy the fruit? I listened to a talk called "do what you want to do" The premise is that if I did what I wanted....then I would do it well. While I can pick this statement apart, a part of me revels in this. If I am granted the freedom to do what I want to do, then I would love, care, enjoy, share. Because I have given my heart to Jesus, I am inclined to live like Jesus and love like Jesus. I realize that you are thinking "it isnt that easy" and I can dig that, except..it was that easy.

I hope I have provoked you into opinion and you are welcome to share that opinion because I love you and everyone needs to be heard.

peace